Offler

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Offler is the chaotic god of the Tourist pantheon.

Encyclopedia entry

Blind Io took up the dice-box, which was a skull whose various
orifices had been stoppered with rubies, and with several of
his eyes on the Lady he rolled three fives. She smiled. This
was the nature of the Lady's eyes: they were bright green,
lacking iris or pupil, and they glowed from within.

The room was silent as she scrabbled in her box of pieces and,
from the very bottom, produced a couple that she set down on
the board with two decisive clicks. The rest of the players,
as one God, craned forward to peer at them.

"A wenegade wiffard and fome fort of clerk," said Offler the
Crocodile God, hindered as usual by his tusks. "Well,
weally!" With one claw he pushed a pile of bone-white tokens
into the centre of the table.

The Lady nodded slightly. She picked up the dice-cup and held
it as steady as a rock, yet all the Gods could hear the three
cubes rattling about inside. And then she sent them bouncing
across the table.

A six. A three. A five.

Something was happening to the five, however. Battered by the
chance collision of several billion molecules, the die flipped
onto a point, spun gently and came down a seven. Blind Io
picked up the cube and counted the sides.

"Come _on_," he said wearily, "Play fair."

[ The Colour of Magic, by Terry Pratchett ]

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