Failed Existence

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The Failed Existence is a role specific to Slash'EM Extended, which has been added in version v123. They are a harder-than-hard role, and can be any race or alignment. Playing it makes the Convict seem like a walk in the park. The difficulty may be comparable to the Bleeder or even worse.

Failed existences start the game with cursed or negatively enchanted equipment, the attire charm technique and some (mainly harmful) intrinsics (see below). The starting footwear enables the use of their attire charm technique but also randomly damages them, and some of their intrinsics are very hard to get rid of.

The failed existence's starting pet is a dark/redguard/thieving girl. However, their conduct means they must not eat while satiated and not eat meat, or else they are subjected to various harmful effects. See the strategy section for details.

The Failed Existence quest sees you fighting Irina for the Unobtainable Beauties. It is also notorious for its extreme difficulty, basically forcing the player to postpone it until a complete ascension kit has been acquired.

Starting equipment


Failed existences gain the following intrinsics:


Failed existences have the following gameplay quirks:

  • Eating meat, or eating while satiated, will cause negative effects
  • Being satiated abuses strength, constitution, dexterity and wisdom
  • Being hungry halves all food consumption (even from intrinsic hunger/regeneration/conflict), being weak quarters it, while in fainting state it's reduced to 1/8 and while actually fainted it's reduced to 1/16
  • Being hungry or worse exercises stats; they are never abused from being too hungry
  • Using a technique fails with 50% chance, giving a timeout of rnz(1000)
  • Spellcasting success chances are halved, and the minimum fail rate is 50% so spellcasting can't ever be reliable
  • All weapon attacks automatically miss with a 50% chance
  • Monsters are always generated hostile, even always-peaceful ones like watchmen and quest guardians
  • Pets can always betray the player, even if they're of a species that normally can't and even if they're weaker than the player
  • Maximum luck is 0 (it's impossible to have positive luck)


Failed existences gain techniques at these experience levels:


Failed Existence Skills
Max Skills


Main article: Religion

The Failed Existence has random names for their gods, which are determined when the game is started.

Failed Existence rank titles

The status line shows you to be one of the following ranks when you reach the specified experience level:

  • XL 1-2: Looser
  • XL 3-5: Failure
  • XL 6-9: Bum
  • XL 10-13: Torn Person
  • XL 14-17: Chainsmoker
  • XL 18-21: Walking Beer Bottle
  • XL 22-25: Limping Tramp
  • XL 26-29: Luckless Individual
  • XL 30: Choosy Beggar


Due to the large amount of crippling quirks combined with the cursed starting equipment, failed existences have a borderline unplayable early game. The knife should be removed ASAP, probably with the help of one of Slash'EM Extended's many item-stealing monsters. Removing the aggravate monster intrinsic is more difficult; usually doing so involves gremlins or other intrinsic-stealing monsters. The random bad effects and vulnerability can only be cured by applying a (preferably noncursed) switcher; those are so rare that they usually need to be wished for. Beware, the luck stat won't go higher than zero, so don't use a wish if anything reduced your luck lately (even if it was just by one point), unless you're absolutely sure (enlightenment) that your luck isn't negative!

Also, the starting footwear, while giving 20 points of AC, maximum magic cancellation and the ability to use the attire charm technique, will randomly hurt the player while worn. One of the possible effects is a reduction of maximum HP while another one is intelligence drain a la mind flayer, complete with amnesia effects, so it's probably better to get them removed ASAP. Putting them back on after removing the curse will cause them to autocurse, so beware!

Due to the difficulty of fighting and spellcasting, the failed existence will probably need to resort to kicking a lot, so early kicking boots will be very useful. It may be worthwile to pick the Navi race for the bonus to kicking damage while wearing wedged sandals (which also allow the player to use attire charm), but that still requires the starting footwear to be removed. Even the Curser race might be useful for its starting blessing technique, though it means that 80% of all items are automatically generated cursed.

The Quest is a difficult place with lots of obstacles, and if the player makes it to the quest nemesis, they need to contend with the various item-stealing and spellcasting attacks of the nemesis. Irina is also resistant to many types of damage, making the fight much harder.


The Failed Existence is based on the Topmodel role, but with some adjustments to make it much harder.