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The Goff is a role specific to Slash'EM Extended. They can be any race or alignment.

For the unspoiled player, the Goff also presents an interesting puzzle to figure out. Since the unspoiled experience can't ever be had again as soon as one was spoiled (unless one is suffering from amnesia in real life), players who want to figure out the Goff role on their own are advised to stop reading at the marked spoiler section below.

What the player will see

The Goff obviously starts out hallucinating. This messes up the display, jumbles around the gods' names, and even prevents the player from seeing what their starting items really are. Worn items include an amulet, a weapon and some pieces of armor, plus there's a stack of 100 objects in a quiver and some potions and scrolls. It is possible to stop the hallucinations, and that's the first task the player has to perform if they want to get going.

Watch out! Spoilers below!

Players who still want to figure out how the Goff role works are advised to turn back now. Only read this if you don't care, have already figured out the Goff role's quirks or are desperately looking for a solution after some unsuccessful attempts to get the role to work. :)

Okay, so obviously the player needs to figure out what to do. Quitting out of the game doesn't correctly identify the player's possessions due to the hallucination; for many of the items only the randomized descriptions (e.g. "an occult amulet" or "a scroll labeled APOCALYPSE") are displayed, and no enchantment or BUC status is shown. Looking at the discoveries shows one identified item type while everything else is unknown. Often there doesn't seem to be a starting pet either; however, the pet is actually a ninja boy/girl hiding underneath an item that gets generated next to the character! Because the pet is likely to hide underneath items again and again, and also because the player is hallucinating, it's probably better to leave it behind anyway. Now the player still needs to figure out what their items actually do; all the armor items cannot be taken off, so it's likely that one of them is causing the hallucinations, right? ;) In fact, it's the pair of hippie heels that causes hallucination while worn. Find a way to take them off, and the Goff becomes much more playable.

Starting Equipment


Goffs gain techniques at these experience levels:


A Goff gains the following intrinsics from leveling up:


Goff Skills
Max Skills


Main article: Religion
  • Lawful: B'loody Mary
  • Neutral: Ebony Dark'ness
  • Chaotic: Darth Valer

Goff rank titles

The status line shows you to be one of the following ranks when you reach the specified experience level:

  • XL 1-2: Fanfic Reader
  • XL 3-5: Saint Preps Academy Alumnus/Alumna
  • XL 6-9: Badfic Writer
  • XL 10-13: Emo Boy/Girl
  • XL 14-17: Blatant Troll
  • XL 18-21: Motherfucker
  • XL 22-25: Author Avatar
  • XL 26-29: Self-insert
  • XL 30: Marty Stu/Mary Sue


Goffs are a harder-than-hard role. The first thing they need to do is find a way to get rid of the cursed pair of hippie heels if they ever want to see what their items actually are, so they're probably stuck hoping for a random scroll of remove curse, or encounter a hallucinogen-distorted item-stealing monster and drop everything that can be dropped to increase the chances that the boots are stolen. But even if they manage to get rid of their boots, they still have other problems: Their movement speed is only 9, making them very slow unless they find a way to speed themselves up (preferably speed boots), they're permanently vampiric so they can only drain blood from corpses but (unless polymorphed into a vampire or playing a racial vampire) they lack a blood-draining melee attack, and they also need to follow the anorexia conduct that penalizes them for drinking blood from meaty monsters. On the plus side, they burn nutrition at a slower rate if they're already hungry or worse.

The Goff quest isn't too dangerous, but it has some monster-filled parts that will take a while to clear. Their quest artifact can be quite useful as it grants both half physical damage and half spell damage.


The Goff is based on "My Immortal", a Harry Potter fanfic by Tara Gilesbie.