Cream pie
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Cream pies can be eaten, obviously. Keystone Kops will also trow them at you, making you blind until you get the glop off. If you are hit by a cream pie, #wipe your face.
You can also wield a cream pie if you want to avoid to kill monsters. Wielding or throwing a cream pie does not break any conducts. Eating the pie breaks the vegan conduct but preserves the vegetarian conduct.