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Hi, I'm Rev. Jason, a 30-year-old gas station clerk from rural East Texas. I've been playing NetHack about 6 months, almost exclusively on iNetHack. So far, the farthest I've ever gotten is the Valley of the Dead. I don't discriminate; I like all combinations of role/race/sex/alignment. That applies to my love life too.

I really enjoy playing hackysack, also known as footbag. If you aren't familiar with this sport, let me describe it: a group of longhair hippies stand in a circle and kick a beanbag, cooperatively trying to keep it from hitting the ground without using their hands. Most enthusiasts, including myself, are of the opinion that marijuana consumption is integral to the experience. It can also be played solo. My personal record is 1,492 kicks until it succumbed to the gravitational tug of the Earth. That may sound good to some of you, but the best trick I can pull off with any degree of reliability is the reverse jester.

I also love the Final Fantasy series. I'm kinda behind the times; I still play on PlayStation2. I was playing Final Fantasy XII for the first time, and having a great time with it, but I abruptly stopped playing FFXII when I happened upon iNetHack in the Apple app store.

I think I like to think that in another universe there is a Rev. Jason fork in which I am still devoted to FF, and another universe with a hackysack fork in which I'm a hackysack wizard. When and if I and these variants get to heaven, we will be recombined into the ultimate timekiller: Rev. FinalNetFantasyHackysack.

Do my eyes look red?