User:Umbire the Phantom/NetHack is not real life
Opining on NHINRL for article stuff goes here.
Lede
"NetHack is not real life" (often abbreviated to NHINRL) is a common response to some YANIs which suggest NetHack behave in a way supposedly more consistent with the real world. Failure to realize this is also a root of many a player's misconceptions about the mechanics of items, monsters and other objects within NetHack, as well as the functions of NetHack as a whole—such misconceptions similarly figure in why some players die frequently.
This article's primary focus is on exploring what causes certain YANIs to elicit such responses, including why they are perceived as impractical or unlikely to be implemented even when they are fairly practical (or at least, do not qualify as a SMOP).
Flavor
NetHack and its variants do try to curate and maintain a distinct sort of "flavor" to the game world, even if it is not always a major priority, and that flavor will naturally vary between those versions of the game. The setting of NetHack, such as it is, can be loosely termed as "kitchen sink fantasy": many items and monsters are derived from specific fantasy works, while others are surprisingly mundane items, and still others that can fit into one or both groups also work on a humorous pun-based logic—and all of these span various genres of fantasy and science fiction. This does not at all preclude NetHack from including weapons, creatures or objects that are either wholly mundane or wholly fantastical, but YANIs with such inclusions are not remotely a guarantee.
Challenge
Another factor is the challenge or difficulty presented by implementing such ideas: far from being simply "does this make the game harder or easier", it's also worth considering whether or not a YANI introduces more interesting gameplay opportunities or else helps fill a particular strategic niche. Yes, a human probably shouldn't be able to survive a pummeling from a roaming band of apes, and most living creatures would probably bleed out from all the constant slashes and stabs sustained over the course of an average game—it also most likely wouldn't be nearly as fun to actually play! This is admittedly a drastic pair of example, and that's not to say there isn't a roguelike or other genre of game in the market for simulation of elements such as limb damage or blood loss... just be prepared to accept that the developers of NetHack (or any variants thereof) may not consider it to be that roguelike.
Suspension of disbelief
In general, most games and other works of fiction in general seek to maintain a level of suspension of disbelief: some examples of this are referred to by TV Tropes as "acceptable breaks from reality", where a realistic outcome is ignored or "softened" in favor of one that better facilitates gameplay and/or storytelling.
Benefits of not being real life
With all that said, and as a bit of a fun thought exercise, consider the following instances in which NetHack is generally more convenient and interesting to play and experience by the virtue of not being indebted to extensively simulating real life (or in some cases, a fantasy-based approximation thereof).
The setting
In the mysterious realms connected by the ever shifting dungeon, a player can find dragons, trolls, vampires, and demons coexisting alongside Tolkienian elves, dwarves, hobbits, and orcs... as well as archeologists, doctors, samurai, Viking-like warriors, and tourists in possibly-tacky Hawaiian shirts, some of which can even be one of those fantastic beings! Also, a magic marker can write magical scrolls and spellbooks with its ink, while an expensive camera can be broken to release a Discworld-style "picture painting demon".
The dungeon
The Dungeons of Doom are a subterranean world with constantly-shifting levels, completely formed walls, closets and doors, with staircases leading to and from forests, crypts and beehives, and it's full of trees, fountains, moats, and lava—and many of these drastically different elements are often in close proximity to one another. Then there's the local fauna to consider... but that'll have to be a different section.
The hero
The hero is one of the more "obvious" beneficiaries of the fact that NetHack is not real life: otherwise, an adventurer being caught in a bear trap would almost invariably die from their injury, especially since nurses are not be generated until much later in the game; hydration would be a necessity and also cumbersome to deal with, as most (if not all) sources of food do not come with water, and water from fountains and sinks is not properly treated on top of being hazardous for other reasons; and no matter how strong they are, an adventurer that trips a rolling boulder trap is highly likely to be crushed and killed instantly from the impact of the boulder rolling over them, to speak nothing of any boulders thrown by giants.
Looking at things from the other direction, there is the even bigger mastodon in the room of the hero being able to radically alter themselves by polymorphing: even something far less conceptually outlandish and majorly form-altering–like increasing strength, constitution or intelligence, healing that horribly-mangled ACL, or changing gender–can be achieved with as little as a simple potion or even a magical amulet. To boot, any and all armor and clothing in the dungeon is evidently unisex and does not require any major adjustments for fitting the various human and humanoid beings that heroes can be (though the same cannot be said for a hero that becomes a troll).
While many players would no doubt kill for even the least of such conveniences in real life, they will have to "settle" for options such as what current medicine has to offer with all the expenses and therapies entailed. NetHackWiki and NetHack as well as its communities generally welcome players of all real-life races, roles and genders among other identities, and ideally should remain welcoming—with this in mind, it is highly recommended that players discontent about the inability to discover and tame a wild sasquatch or become a Woodland-elf should restrain any "killing" impulses to the hostile monsters in games (if not specifically this game), rather than any monstrous beings you may somehow encounter outside of it.
The monsters
...doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Regardless, the presence of wild animals alongside fantastic creatures means that brainstorming isn't necessarily as constrained by ecological concerns.
Examples
In this section, cite YANIs and suggestions real or otherwise that would elicit the response "NetHack is not real life".