User:Wikid/Music Monsters

Ripped from the pages of VoR's Hallucinatory Bestiary, we bring you the Music Monsters. It is said these enigmatic animated scrolls are the product of some warped alternative dimension. Yikes! Bring your earplugs!

Template: Paper golem

1812 Overture

1812 Overture	?
Attacks	Claw 1d10 physical (+1d10 fire), Explodes (sound) when killed
Alignment	0 (neutral)
Frequency	0 (Not randomly generated)
Resistances	Cold, Fire, Poison, Sleep
Drops	1d4 potions of oil

On September 7, 1812, at Borodino, 120 km (75 mi) west of Moscow, Napoleon's forces met those of General Mikhail Kutuzov in a concerted stand made by Russia against the seemingly invincible French Army. The Battle of Borodino saw casualties estimated as high as 100,000 and the French were masters of the field. It was, however, ultimately a pyrrhic victory for the French invasion.

[Editor Anonymous, Wikipedia]

BLERTA

BLERTA	?
Attacks	Claw 1d10 physical (hallucination), Explodes (sound) when killed
Alignment	0 (neutral)
Frequency	0 (Not randomly generated)
Resistances	Cold, Fire, Poison, Sleep
Drops	1d4 potions of hallucination

Come dance all around the world
Dance with the birds and the music
We want you to see the world
And see all the beauty that surrounds you

[BLERTA, Dance All Around The World, 1971]

Enigma variation

Enigma variation	?
Attacks	Claw 1d10 physical (sleep), Explodes (sound) when killed
Alignment	0 (neutral)
Frequency	0 (Not randomly generated)
Resistances	Cold, Fire, Poison, Sleep
Drops	1d4 potions of sleep

In a little while, soothed and feeling rested, I began to play, and suddenly my wife interrupted by saying: ‘Edward, that’s a good tune.’ I awoke from the dream. ‘Eh! Tune, what tune!’ And she said, ‘Play it again, I like that tune.’ I played and strummed, and played, then she exclaimed: ‘That’s the tune.’ The voice of [my wife] asked with a sound of approval, ‘What is that?’ I answered, ‘Nothing – but something might be made of it.’

[Classic FM, The moving story behind Elgar's Enigma Variations]

Lynyrdskynyrd

Lynyrdskynyrd	?
Attacks	Claw 1d10 physical (+1d10 shock), Explodes (sound) when killed
Alignment	0 (neutral)
Frequency	0 (Not randomly generated)
Resistances	Cold, Fire, Poison, Sleep
Drops	1d4 potions of gain energy

Oh, won't you
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister
Gimme three steps toward the door?
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, mister

And you'll never see me no more.

[Gimme Three Steps, Lynyrd Skynyrd]

Warped record

Warped record	?
Attacks	Claw 1d10 physical (stun), Explodes (sound) when killed
Alignment	0 (neutral)
Frequency	0 (Not randomly generated)
Resistances	Cold, Fire, Poison, Sleep
Drops	1d4 potions of booze

To fix a warped vinyl record, sandwich the record between 2 heavy objects, like a couple large books, and let it sit for a few days or weeks until it's not warped anymore. If you're in a rush, you can quickly fix a warped vinyl record using an oven.

[Editor Anonymous, Wikihow]