User:Wikid/Nethack Stuff
Work-in-Progress
Nicked from the mages of VoR's Hallucinatory Bestiary, we bring you some Nethack Stuff.
Templates: various
Contents
Agony Ant
The Agony Aunt has a weak bite, but an annoying stun. It's final act is a rumour of some description.
| Agony Ant | a |
|---|---|
| Template | Fire ant |
| Attacks | Bite 1d4, Sting 1d4 stun, Explode on death 1d4 garo report |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances | poison |
| An Agony Aunt | is solitary |
It is not our business to teach persons how to evade the laws. We could imagine circumstances where we might, in confidence, impart the coveted knowledge, but we would rather not be asked.
Apologetic Customer
The apologetic customer is mainly a nuisance to other shoppers, because of their effect on shopkeepers. Apologetic customers spawn inside shops, and pick up and carry the shop inventory (67% chance to pick up / 33% change to drop each item each turn). The shopkeeper considers this to be unsold inventory in possession of the player character, and therefore stands in front of the door (congratulations to anyone who knows how to code that). That renders the shop mostly un-usable. Apologetic customers can be heard to say "Oh dear, excuse me", "I'm sorry", "How much did you say that costs?" and such-like. Chatting to a peaceful apologetic customer prompts them to offer to sell their inventory items. The shopkeeper will no longer consider purchased items to be unsold.
| Apologetic Customer | @ |
|---|---|
| Template | Human (monster) |
| Alignment | 7 (lawful) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| An apologetic customer | Can talk |
At {Company Name}, we take pride in ensuring our customer’s satisfaction. Unfortunately, we did not meet your—or our own—expectations. Upon thorough review of the situation, we narrowed the cause to {key staff changes, recent internal system update, office relocation, etc…}.
As a testament to our strive for perfection, we have taken steps to ensure that this will never happen again by {creating company wide training sessions, installing new back-up systems, creating an internal auditing team, etc…}.
Bobby On The Beat
Bobbies on the Beat are a rare type of Kop that randomly spawn in pairs. They have a Watchman-like function. If they witness the player character commit any infraction, they will call the Kops. Infractions include any act of Dungeon destruction, or being attacked, or actually any fighting ("disorderly behaviour"). Bobbies on the Beat on a level can be heard to make such remarks as "'Allo 'allo 'allo, what 'ave we 'ere?", and "You can't park here, Sir / Madam", "Oi! You come back 'ere, Sunshine!". #Chatting to elicits standard Watchman conversation.
| Bobby On The Beat | K |
|---|---|
| Template | Kop captain |
| Alignment | 7 (lawful) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| A Bobby on the Beat | Is normally generated peaceful Occurs in pairs Can talk |
More than a third of people in England and Wales have not seen a bobby on the beat for a year, research suggests.
Caveperson
Don't mess with the cavepersons – they carry a really big club.
| Caveperson | @ |
|---|---|
| Template | Caveman |
| Attacks | club 4d10 (stun) |
| Alignment | 7 (lawful) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| A Caveperson | Is normally generated peaceful Occurs in small groups |
A word of advice, Durk: It's the Mesolithic. We've domesticated the dog, we're using stone tools, and no one's naked anymore.
DIElithium crystal
The DIElithium crystal is a homicidal self-aware mineral that packs a nasty electric zap.
| DIElithium Crystal | * |
|---|---|
| Template | Pile of killer coins |
| Attacks | 3d8 lightning bolt (shock), 3d8 passive (shock) |
| Alignment | -7 (chaotic) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Drops | 1 - 8 dilithium crystals |
Engineering. No casualties, captain, but trouble aplenty with the engines. Every dilithium crystal connection smashed in the warp engine circuitry.
Filth Beatle
The Filth Beatle is something of a crossover from the Music Monsters. Its nip is more of a nuisance, leading to perceptual problems.
| Filth Beatle | a |
|---|---|
| Template | Giant beetle |
| Attacks | Bite 1d4 (hallucination) |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances | Poison, sickness |
| Drops | 1-2 random scrolls |
| A Filth Beatle | Occurs in groups of from one to five. |
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
You let your knickers down
Funky Monkey
| Funky Monkey | Y |
|---|---|
| Template | Monkey |
| Attacks | |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances |
Como banana, biscoito e engulo caroço até me engasgar.
Faço minhas macacadas, rolou batucada eu vou me acabar.
Bolsa brilhante, relógio, não marque bobeira que eu pego pra mim.
Vamos plantar bananeira, jogar capoeira cantando assim
Ae, ae!
Highest Priestest
| Highest Priestest | @ |
|---|---|
| Template | Fire ant |
| Attacks | |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances |
The Goddess has a fourth face. It is secret, and you should pray, as I do, as I do Igraine, that Morgause will never wear that face.
Orchaealogist
| Orchaealogist | o |
|---|---|
| Template | Orc shaman |
| Attacks | |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances |
Is this quest bugged? I talked to the orc, conviced him of showing me where the grave is. He starts running, then sits down, and tells me its right in fron of his feet, but there is no grave there. Is the quest bugged or something?
Phone Zombie
| Phone Zombie | Z |
|---|---|
| Template | Human zombie |
| Attacks | |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances |
Enough of Hong Kong's mobile phone zombie menaces to society.
It’s time to take matters into our own hands to shock these public nuisances out of their reverie and back into the real world.
Purple Ampersand
| Purple Ampersand | & |
|---|---|
| Template | Nalfeshnee |
| Attacks | |
| Alignment | -7 (chaotic) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances |
… during the early 1800s, the character was considered the 27th letter of the alphabet. For students reciting their ABCs, it would have been confusing to say “X, Y, Z, and,” so they inserted per se (meaning “by itself”) into the sequence, transforming the end of the recitation into “X, Y, Z, and per se and.” Over time, “and per se and” morphed into the word we use today: ampersand.
Samurukhai
| Samurukhai | o |
|---|---|
| Template | Orc captain |
| Attacks | |
| Alignment | 7 (lawful) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances |
With regards to the way of death, if you are prepared to die at any time, you will be able to meet your release from life with equanimity. As calamities are usually not as bad as anticipated beforehand, it is foolhardy to feel anxiety about tribulations not yet endured. Just accept that the worst possible fate for a man in service is to become a rōnin, or death by seppuku. Then nothing will faze you.
