User:Wikid/Nethack Stuff
Nicked from the mages of VoR's Hallucinatory Bestiary, we bring you some Nethack Stuff.
Templates: various
Contents
Agony Ant
The Agony Aunt has a weak bite, but an annoying stun. It's final act is a rumour of some description.
| Agony Ant | a |
|---|---|
| Template | Fire ant |
| Attacks | Bite 1d4, Sting 1d4 stun, Explode on death 1d4 garo report |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances | poison |
| An Agony Aunt | is solitary |
It is not our business to teach persons how to evade the laws. We could imagine circumstances where we might, in confidence, impart the coveted knowledge, but we would rather not be asked.
Apologetic Customer
The apologetic customer is mainly a nuisance to other shoppers, because of their effect on shopkeepers. Apologetic customers spawn inside shops, and pick up and carry the shop inventory (67% chance to pick up / 33% change to drop each item each turn). The shopkeeper considers this to be unsold inventory in possession of the player character, and therefore stands in front of the door (congratulations to anyone who knows how to code that). That renders the shop mostly un-usable. Apologetic customers can be heard to say "Oh dear, excuse me", "I'm sorry", "How much did you say that costs?" and such-like. Chatting to a peaceful apologetic customer prompts them to offer to sell their inventory items. The shopkeeper will no longer consider purchased items to be unsold.
| Apologetic Customer | @ |
|---|---|
| Template | Human (monster) |
| Alignment | 7 (lawful) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| An apologetic customer | Can talk |
At {Company Name}, we take pride in ensuring our customer’s satisfaction. Unfortunately, we did not meet your—or our own—expectations. Upon thorough review of the situation, we narrowed the cause to {key staff changes, recent internal system update, office relocation, etc…}.
As a testament to our strive for perfection, we have taken steps to ensure that this will never happen again by {creating company wide training sessions, installing new back-up systems, creating an internal auditing team, etc…}.
Bobby On The Beat
Bobbies on the Beat are a rare type of Kop that randomly spawn in pairs. They have a Watchman-like function. If they witness the player character commit any infraction, they will call the Kops. Infractions include any act of Dungeon destruction, or being attacked, or actually any fighting ("disorderly conduct"). Bobbies on the Beat on a level can be heard to make such remarks as "'Allo 'allo 'allo, what 'ave we 'ere then?", and "You can't park here, Sir / Madam", "Oi! You come back 'ere, Sunshine!". #Chatting elicits standard Watchman conversation.
| Bobby On The Beat | K |
|---|---|
| Template | Kop captain |
| Alignment | 7 (lawful) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| A Bobby on the Beat | Is normally generated peaceful Occurs in pairs Can talk |
More than a third of people in England and Wales have not seen a bobby on the beat for a year, research suggests.
Caveperson
Don't mess with the cavepersons – they carry a really big club.
| Caveperson | @ |
|---|---|
| Template | Caveman |
| Attacks | club 4d10 (stun) |
| Alignment | 7 (lawful) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| A Caveperson | Is normally generated peaceful Occurs in small groups |
A word of advice, Durk: It's the Mesolithic. We've domesticated the dog, we're using stone tools, and no one's naked anymore.
DIElithium crystal
The DIElithium crystal is a homicidal self-aware mineral that packs a nasty electric zap.
| DIElithium Crystal | * |
|---|---|
| Template | Pile of killer coins |
| Attacks | 3d8 lightning bolt (shock), 3d8 passive (shock) |
| Alignment | -7 (chaotic) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Drops | 1 - 8 dilithium crystals |
Engineering. No casualties, captain, but trouble aplenty with the engines. Every dilithium crystal connection smashed in the warp engine circuitry.
Filth Beatle
The Filth Beatle is something of a crossover from the Music Monsters. Its nip is more of a nuisance, leading to perceptual problems.
| Filth Beatle | a |
|---|---|
| Template | Giant beetle |
| Attacks | Bite 1d4 (hallucination) |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances | Poison, sickness |
| Drops | 1-2 random scrolls |
| A Filth Beatle | Occurs in groups of from one to five. |
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
You let your knickers down
Funky Monkey
The Funky Monkey is notable for its exquisite Stinking-Cloud-related expertise.
| Funky Monkey | Y |
|---|---|
| Template | Monkey |
| Attacks | Claw steals a random item, Bite 1d3, cast Stinking cloud |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances | Poison |
| Drops | 2d4 bananas |
| A Funky Monkey | occurs in small groups |
Como banana, biscoito e engulo caroço até me engasgar.
Faço minhas macacadas, rolou batucada eu vou me acabar.
Bolsa brilhante, relógio, não marque bobeira que eu pego pra mim.
Vamos plantar bananeira, jogar capoeira cantando assim
Ae, ae!
Highest Priestess
Uh-oh stoners! It's the Highest Priestess. She has Medusa effects, but she doesn't mean it. She is a version of the Oracle who appears in 4.2% of games. She announces her presence on the level with stoner quotes:
"Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves". "The infinite vibratory levels, the dimensions of interconnectedness are without end. There is nothing independent. All beings and things are residents in your awareness". "To use your head, you have to go out of your mind". "To get really high is to forget yourself". "To forget yourself is to see everything else". "To see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe". "The truth is in the herb." "The vision is in the crystal."
She is spawned peaceful in the Oracle Room, which gains a special throne called a "beanbag". Due to the heady vapours, each turn spent in the Highest Priestess's room has a chance of (4% * (25-WIS)) of inducing hallucination as per the potion.
In keeping with her oracular role, the Highest Priestess offers consultations. She accepts only herbs (garlic, wolfsbane, or eucalyptus) and crystals (identified gems) as currency. She offers consultations only at an infraction count (see below) of 0. A herb is good for a minor consultation. A crystal receives a major consultation.
Sister / Brother do you have some herb? Sister / Brother do you carry a crystal?
The Highest Priestess is made angry if the following conducts are broken three times on her level: genocideless / illiterate / pacifist / polyless / polyselfless / poverty / vegan. Poverty is a voluntary conduct violated by picking up money. Each infraction causes the infraction counter to increment by 1.
You hear a weary voice say "Now look what you did." You hear a disappointed voice say "NOW look what you did." You hear a scream "YOU KEEP DOING THAT!"
(Texts modified accordingly if she is visible). The Highest Priestess can be mollified with a gift of herbs or crystals. Each gift reduces the infraction counter by 1 to a minimum of 0.
The Highest Priestess seems mollified
(Counter reduces by 1)
"Peace, o Traveller."
(Counter reduces to 0).
Players are likely to meet the Highest Priestess before they have reflection, so had best be on their best behaviour. Also it turns out she is hallucinating and therefore often immune to gaze attacks.
| Highest Priestess | @ |
|---|---|
| Template | Oracle |
| Attacks | Passive (level + 1)d4 magic missile, Gaze 0d0 stoning |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Unique) |
| Resistances | Poison, sickness |
| The Highest Priestess | Is hallucinating Is female Is generated peaceful Is angered by the breaking of certain conducts |
The Goddess has a fourth face. It is secret, and you should pray, as I do, as I do Igraine, that Morgause will never wear that face.
Orchaealogist
This tunnelling type of orc shaman digs in random directions, picking up loot. Different from other tunnelling monsters, 50% of the time an orchealogist will dig down to create a pit. If they find themselves in a pit without status afflictions, they are 90% likely to jump out. If in a pit with status afflictions (e.g., blind, frightened), they are only 10% likely to jump out. Otherwise they dig a hole. They are mainly a nuisance because of digging pits and holes.
| Orchaealogist | o |
|---|---|
| Template | Orc shaman |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Drops | Pickaxe, Sack |
| An orchaealogist | Is generated peaceful Can jump Is solitary |
Is this quest bugged? I talked to the orc, conviced him of showing me where the grave is. He starts running, then sits down, and tells me its right in fron of his feet, but there is no grave there. Is the quest bugged or something?
Phone Zombie
Phone zombies are both blind and invisible. Interestingly, their invisibility is mediated by a rare spell called "it believes it is invisible". Phone zombies carry a special type of mirror. Bumping into a phone zombie will anger it. Killing any nymph with a mirror in its inventory will turn it into a phone zombie. Any h, k, n, o, C, G, H, K, N, O, Q, T, or @ that is killed on a level where there has been a phone zombie has a 50% chance to spawn a phone zombie from its corpse after 1d12 turns.
| Phone Zombie | Z |
|---|---|
| Template | Human zombie |
| Attacks | Claw 1d8 |
| Alignment | 0 (neutral) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Drops | Mirror |
| A phone zombie | Is blind Is invisible Is generated peaceful Appears in large groups |
Enough of Hong Kong's mobile phone zombie menaces to society.
It’s time to take matters into our own hands to shock these public nuisances out of their reverie and back into the real world.
Purple Ampersand
Purple Ampersand is a unique demon sometimes (50% of games) found wandering on the 27th level of Gehennom. Purple Ampersand carries an artefact pair of +4 scissors called Snippety-Snap (base item: knife) that reliably destroys all scrolls in open inventory (blocked by Magic cancellation), and that is also armour shredding. Purple Ampersand is generated peaceful, but angered by the player character's proximity, but can be bribed by the gift of a spellbook if carried in open inventory.
| Purple Ampersand | & |
|---|---|
| Template | Dispater |
| Attacks | Weapon 4d6, spell-casting |
| Alignment | 15 (lawful) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Resistances | cold, fire, poison, shock, sleep, stoning |
| Purple Ampersand | Is generated peaceful |
… during the early 1800s, the character was considered the 27th letter of the alphabet. For students reciting their ABCs, it would have been confusing to say “X, Y, Z, and,” so they inserted per se (meaning “by itself”) into the sequence, transforming the end of the recitation into “X, Y, Z, and per se and.” Over time, “and per se and” morphed into the word we use today: ampersand.
Samurukhai
The Samurukhai is a unique sort of invisible Orc oh whoops it left a hobbit corpse.
| Samurukhai | o |
|---|---|
| Template | Orc captain |
| Attacks | Weapon 2d4, weapon 2d4 |
| Alignment | 7 (lawful) |
| Frequency | 0 (Not randomly generated) |
| Drops | elven cloak, grappling hook, hobbit corpse, Ring of invisibility, 2d4 lembas wafers, short sword, slime mold |
Sam roused himself painfully from the ground. For a moment he wondered where he was, and then all the misery and despair returned to him. [...] He wondered what the time was. Somewhere between one day and the next, he supposed; but even of the days he had quite lost the count. He was in a land of darkness where the days of the world seemed forgotten, and where all who entered were forgotten too.
