User:Kahran042

Hey. The name's Kahran042, pronounced "Kahran Zero Forty-Two". While I tend to make edits wherever, I tend to specialize in so-called "obsolete" features and SLASH'EM. When it comes to actually playing, I prefer the older versions, simply because of the (IMHO) stupid religion system in NetHack. Basically, I think that non-humans should be allowed to worship elven/dwarven/gnomish/orcish gods, not forced to worship human gods just because of their chosen profession. I also think that the Ranger quest is horribly-designed, with the cave of the wumpus being the only remotely-interesting part. Finally, in my book, any version with Sokoban and/or the Monk class is not and never will be vanilla, since I see those as being SLASH'EM features. Sorry about the rant, I just wanted to get it off my chest. Expect to see more edits from me later.

Notable contributions on NetHackWiki

Created Barbarian quest

Created Caveman quest

Created Healer quest

Created Knight quest

Created Priest quest

Created Rogue quest

Created Samurai quest

Created Tourist quest

Created Valkyrie quest

Created Wizard quest

Created Flame Mage quest

Created Ice Mage quest

Created Necromancer quest

Created Undead Slayer quest

Created Yeoman quest

Created Lawful Quest

Created Neutral Quest

Created Chaotic Quest

Created Monster (SLASH'EM)

Created Item (SLASH'EM)

Created Special room (SLASH'EM)

Created Special level (SLASH'EM)

Created Lethe Gorge

Created Gehennom (Lethe patch)

Created Oviparous

Created Angelic and demonic maledictions

Created Monsters (by alignment)

Created Endgame (3.0)

Removed irrelevant information on tame nymphs from Magic harp

Added list of gems obtainable with Star tarot card to Gypsy

Racial quests

I've written up the defunct racial quests from earlier versions of NetHack and SLASH'EM, because they're, IMO, much more interesting and better-written than some of the surviving quests. They can be found here:

Elf quest

Doppelganger quest (SLASH'EM)

Dwarf quest (SLASH'EM)

Drow quest (SLASH'EM)

Gnome quest (SLASH'EM)

Hobbit quest (SLASH'EM)

Lycanthrope quest (SLASH'EM)

Fighter quest

I've also begun an attempt at translating the Fighter quest from JNetHack, but so far, all I've done has been to map out the levels, transcribe the raw Japanese quest text, replace the control codes with the actual in-game text, and translate a few bits of the simpler dialogue. Any help with this would be appreciated.

YANI

Although not as many as some users, I've come up with a few YANI in my day. I'm not good with balance, and I'm better at reading source code than understanding it, let alone modifying it, so these are really more ideas than actual developed features. If you want to use them, feel free to do so.

NetHack Code

Note: This uses version 1.1, since I don't really like the newer versions.

NH 3.2.1(S'EM)M D Cargan-BM HP:90 Pw:18 AC:2 N
[+ ) P S+ D p $+ t+ s W E- PS-- PP- G+ C I+ !@W
N b !B Y+ X-- So+ Sp++ sb? wb

And, just for completeness, my NetHack code with the "latest" version (1.2.2)

NH 3.2.1(S'EM)M D Cargan-Bar-Hum-Mal-Neu HP:90 Pw:18 AC:2 L:6
[+ ) i- 2- P S D p $+ t+ s W E- PS-- PP-
G+ C I+ Ps- !@W N Y+ X-- So+ Sp++ sb? wb

Hallucinatory messages in SLASH'EM

I might make this into an article later, if someone wants me to.

This whetstone must be faulty!

You used a whetstone, but it had no effect.

This mushroom is far-out!

You ate a cursed mushroom.

This mushroom is groovy!

You ate a non-cursed mushroom.

Oh no! Tons of poopies!

You kicked a toilet, generating baby crocodiles.

Where is Vanna?

You asked a gypsy to tell your fortune and drew the Wheel of Fortune. Reference to the game show Wheel of Fortune.

You're picking up good vibrations!

You stepped on the vibrating square.

This tastes like champagne! Hakuna matata!

You drank a potion of amnesia. "Hakuna matata" is Swahili for "no worries".

Dude! See-through walls!

You drank a potion of clairvoyance.

You feel like a super-duper hero!

You drank a potion of invulnerability.

You feel a little normal.

You drank a potion of polymorph.

Yecch! This liquid could do with a good stir.

You drank a cursed potion of blood or vampire blood as a vampire, whether natural or polymorphed.

The watery liquid stirs memories of home.

You drank a diluted non-cursed potion of blood or vampire blood as a vampire.

The thick liquid stirs memories of home.

You drank a non-cursed potion of blood or vampire blood as a vampire.

You feel a little normal.

A monster threw a potion of polymorph at you.

Warning, Captain! The warp core has been breached!

You dipped a dilithium crystal into a potion. Presumably a reference to Star Trek.

You hear <shopkeeper> tell you it's a pot of flowers.

You asked a shopkeeper to identify something.

Distracted by your blood-shot eyes, the shopkeeper accidentally blesses the item!

You asked a shopkeeper to uncurse something. (1/4 chance)

You can't see straight and point to the wrong item.

You asked a shopkeeper to uncurse something. (3/4 chance)

You hear <shopkeeper> say it'll "knock 'em dead!"

You asked a shopkeeper to appraise something.

Your - tin roof, unrusted!

You asked a shopkeeper to repair/erodeproof your weapon.

Your <weapon> seems to evaporate into thin air!

You asked a shopkeeper to enchant your weapon. This does not actually destroy it.

You mistake your <armor> for a pot and...

You asked a shopkeeper to repair/erodeproof your armor.

Your <armor> looks dented.

You asked a shopkeeper to enchant your armor.

Too much coffee!

You cast resist sleep.

Excellent! You feel, like, totally cool!

You cast endure heat.

Bummer! You've been grounded!

You cast insulate.

You are fully charged!

You used draw energy while already at maximum energy.

You are enveloped by psychedelic fireworks!

A monster zapped a wand of cancellation at you.

The Annotated False Rumor File

Every lie contains truth, and every truth contains a lie. - Shu, Suikoden II

Since there's no way this will ever be accepted as an article, I thought I'd put it in my profile. Basically, it's like the annotated true rumor file, only with false rumors instead. Some of the annotations will try to find the grains of truth hidden in these lies, and some will point out interesting references within the rumors.

Player

63.   Elf has extra speed.

This is actually completely true. What's it doing in the false rumors file?

Monsters

27.   All monsters are created evil, but some are more evil than others.

Rather, some are less evil, such as shopkeepers. However, one could say that demon lords and other untameable monsters are more evil. Still, true either way, but a bit cryptic.

28.   Always attack a floating eye from behind!

Unfortunately, you can't do this. As a side note, did you know that in D&D, floating eyes are fish?

42.   Cockatrices might turn themselves to stone faced with a mirror.

This doesn't work with cockatrices, but it does work with other petrifying monsters, specifically Medusa.

62.   Eels hide under mud.  Use a unicorn to clear the water and make them visible.

A possible warning that eels can be found in swamps and that unicorn horns can purify certain potions.

79.   Housecats have nine lives, kittens only one.

Although they don't actually have nine lives, housecats are much better at surviving than kittens.

87.   If you turn blind, don't expect your dog to be turned into a seeing-eye dog.

You're actually quite likely to kill your dog- or any other pet- when blind.

89.   If you want to float, you'd better eat a floating eye.

Encourages one to eat floating eye corpses, which is a good idea.

124.  Never teach your pet rust monster to fetch.

Rust monsters will most likely eat the item that one is using, if it's made of iron.

132.  Offering a unicorn a worthless piece of glass might prove to be fatal!

Not fatal, but definitely unlucky.

130.  Nymphs and nurses like beautiful rings.

Nymphs do indeed like rings of adornment. Nurses don't care.

135.  One homunculus a day keeps the doctor away.

Encourages the player to eat homunculus corpses, which grant sleep resistance.

146.  Praying will frighten demons.

And other monsters, too.

161.  Taming a mail daemon may cause a system security violation.

Good thing you can't do it, then.

179.  They say that a baby dragon is too small to hurt or help you.

They're pretty harmless when compared to their adult counterparts since they don't have breath weapons, but they also don't drop scales, and their corpses don't grant resistances.

193.  They say that a gypsy could tell your fortune for a price.

In SLASH'EM, yes. In vanilla NetHack, gypsies don't even exist.

255.  They say that if you sleep with a demon you might awake with a headache.

At least if the demon in question is an incubus or succubus.

274.  They say that most trolls are born again.

Trolls can revive when killed.

299.  They say that some guards' palms can be greased.

Soldiers can be bribed (which makes them peaceful) if you throw gold at them.

310.  They say that the way to make a unicorn happy is to give it what it wants.

And "what it wants" are valuable gems.

Items

22.   A wand of deaf is a more dangerous weapon than a wand of sheep.

Well, a wand of death is a more dangerous weapon than a wand of sleep...

26.   Afraid of mimics?  Try to wear a ring of true seeing.

Replace "true seeing" with "protection from shape changers" to make this a true statement.

38.   Beware:  there's always a chance that your wand explodes as you try to zap it!

Not quite the same, but there is a chance of getting one last charge from it by zapping it when it's out of charges, which then destroys it.

46.   David London sez, "Hey guys, *WIELD* a lizard corpse against a cockatrice!"

Wielding it might not help, but carrying it will.

61.   Eat 10 cloves of garlic and keep all humans at a two-square distance.

Possible hint that if you eat garlic, monsters will flee from you.

67.   Ever lifted a dragon corpse?

Not very likely.

212.  They say that a scroll of summoning has other names.

Like, say, a scroll of create monster.

218.  They say that a stethoscope is no good if you can only hear your heartbeat.

Another completely true one- this indicates that said stethoscope is cursed.

223.  They say that an amulet of strangulation is worse than ring around the collar.

Again, completely true, seeing as how ring around the collar won't kill you.

247.  They say that finding worthless glass is worth something.

Because if you identify it, then you'll be able to identify all worthless glass of that color.

288.  They say that problem breathing is best treated by a proper diet.

Possibly a hint that an amulet of magical breathing can prevent choking.

311.  They say that there are no black or white stones, only gray.

There are black and white gems, but no stones...and there weren't any black gems at the time that this rumor was created, for that matter.

338.  They say that you need a key in order to open locked doors.

You can also use a lock pick or a credit card, but they don't work as well.

Special rooms

21.   A visit to the Zoo is very educational; you meet interesting animals.

Indeed, especially in SLASH'EM, where the unique monster Jumbo the Elephant can only spawn in real zoos.

152.  Shopkeepers are insured by Croesus himself!
294.  They say that shopkeepers are insured by Croesus himself!

A possible reference to the huge amounts of gold that shopkeepers carry.

228.  They say that an opulent throne room is rarely a place to wish you'd be in.

Possibly a reference to the fact that you can get a wish from sitting on a throne.

262.  They say that in the dungeon the boorish customer is never right.
283.  They say that only David can find the zoo!

Well, it is David's treasure zoo.

Gods

302.  They say that the NetHack gods generally welcome your sacrifices.

Completely true, unless the sacrifices are your own race or coaligned unicorns.

True, but cryptic

5.    4th Law of Hacking:  you will find the exit at the entrance.

A reference to the fact that you have to go back to level 1 once you've gotten the amulet.

45.   Dark rooms are not *completely* dark:  just wait and let your eyes adjust...

Infravision can help in dark rooms. Unfortunately, there's no way to get this other than by being an elf or dwarf.

48.   Demi-gods don't need any help from the gods.

A possible hint that praying is pretty much useless once the u.demigod flag is set.

56.   Don't eat too much:  you might start hiccoughing!

Or, more likely, choke to death.

95.   Katanas are very sharp; watch you don't cut yourself.

Possibly a hint that katanas (and other bladed weapons) can be used to cut worms.

126.  Never use a wand of death.

Assuming that "use" means "apply".

139.  Only chaotic evils kill sleeping monsters.

Attacking sleeping monsters decreases your alignment if you're lawful.

163.  The leprechauns hide their treasure in a small hidden room.

Possibly hints at the existence of vaults.

173.  They say that Medusa would make a terrible pet.

Indeed, since her petrifying gaze would still affect you, and she can't be tamed anyway.

182.  They say that a blank scroll is like a blank check.

Because you can write anything you want on it.

184.  They say that a desperate shopper might pay any price in a shop.

Shopkeepers charge more for food when you're hungry.

186.  They say that a dwarf lord can carry a pick-axe because his armor is light.

Dwarven mithril-coats are indeed lightweight armor.

189.  They say that a fortune only has 1 line, but you can read between it.

Possibly a hint that some fortunes could have multiple possible readings.

200.  They say that a lamp named Aladdin's Lamp contains a djinni with 3 wishes.

Only if it's a magic lamp, and even then you only get one wish.

272.  They say that leprechauns know Latin and you should too.

A possible hint that "ad aerarium" indicates a teleporter to a vault.

290.  They say that queen bees get that way by eating royal jelly.

Well, if "that way" means "strong", then...

291.  They say that reading a scare monster scroll is the same as saying Elbereth.

Hints at the nature of the E-word.

328.  They say that you can defeat a killer bee with a unicorn horn.

A possible reference to the fact that unicorn horns can cure poison.

323.  They say that when you wear a circular amulet you might resemble a troll.

In a certain sense, it can, at least if it's an amulet of life saving...

True, but useless

1.    "So when I die, the first thing I will see in heaven is a score list?"
33.   Balrogs do not appear above level 20.
36.   Better leave the dungeon; otherwise you might get hurt badly.
57.   Don't play NetHack at your work; your boss might hit you!
110.  Monsters come from nowhere to hit you everywhere.
115.  Multi-player NetHack is a myth.
116.  NetHack is addictive.  Too late, you're already hooked.
123.  Never swim with a camera:  there's nothing to take pictures of.

"Using your camera underwater would void the warranty." :)

127.  No level contains two shops.  The maze is no level.  So...

Indeed, no normal level contains two shops.

148.  Running is good for your legs.

Good advice for real life, too! :)

154.  Some mazes (especially small ones) have no solutions, says man 6 maze.

Possible reference to the fact that sometimes levels are generated with no way to get to the down stairs?

156.  Sometimes "mu" is the answer.
162.  The crowd was so tough, the Stooges won't play the Dungeon anymore, nyuk nyuk.
370.  Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

This is Murphy's Law, which applies as much to NetHack as to anything else...if not more so. ;-)

372.  When in a maze follow the right wall and you will never get lost.

Fake items

11.   A glowing potion is too hot to drink.
17.   A ring of dungeon master control is a great find.
18.   A ring of extra ring finger is useless if not enchanted.
23.   A wand of vibration might bring the whole cave crashing about your ears.
37.   Beware of the potion of nitroglycerin -- it's not for the weak of heart.
72.   Ever tried enchanting a rope?
158.  Spare your scrolls of make-edible until it's really necessary!
168.  The use of dynamite is dangerous.

True in SLASH'EM, but not in vanilla NetHack.

191.  They say that a gold doubloon is worth more than its weight in gold.
206.  They say that a plumed hat could be a previously used crested helmet.
208.  They say that a potion of yogurt is a cancelled potion of sickness.
215.  They say that a shimmering gold shield is not a polished silver shield.
233.  They say that blue stones are radioactive, beware.    
239.  They say that dipping an eel and brown mold in hot water makes bouillabaisse.
240.  They say that donating a doubloon is extremely pious charity.
241.  They say that dungeoneers prefer dark chocolate.
261.  They say that in the dungeon moon rocks are really dilithium crystals.
266.  They say that iron golem plate mail isn't worth wishing for.
319.  They say that there's only hope left after you've opened Pandora's box.
324.  They say that when you're hungry you can get a pizza in 30 moves or it's free.

Fake monsters

75.   Giant bats turn into giant vampires.
86.   If you thought the Wizard was bad, just wait till you meet the Warlord!
155.  Some questions the Sphynx asks just *don't* have any answers.
386.  You have to outwit the Sphynx or pay her.

A sphinx/sphynx would be pretty darn interesting if implemented, though.

99.   Killer bunnies can be tamed with carrots only.

Although killer bunnies don't exist, you can tame rabbits and rabid rabbits with carrots in SLASH'EM.

181.  They say that a black sheep has 3 bags full of wool.
197.  They say that a hacker named Mary once lost a white sheep in the mazes.

Sheep exist in SLASH'EM, but they're all the same color.

185.  They say that a diamond dog is everybody's best friend.
205.  They say that a plain nymph will only wear a wire ring in one ear.
209.  They say that a purple worm is not a baby purple dragon.
216.  They say that a spear will hit a neo-otyugh.  (Do YOU know what that is?)

Yes, I do. :)

217.  They say that a spotted dragon is the ultimate shape changer.
329.  They say that you can only cross the River Styx in Charon's boat.

Complete rothe-sh*t

6.    A chameleon imitating a mail daemon often delivers scrolls of fire.

Actually, chameleons never imitate mail daemons.

7.    A cockatrice corpse is guaranteed to be untainted!
8.    A dead cockatrice is just a dead lizard.

Not quite true, although having a dead lizard can help you against cockatrices.

9.    A dragon is just a snake that ate a scroll of fire.
12.   A good amulet may protect you against guards.
13.   A lizard corpse is a good thing to turn undead.

No, but it provides protection against being stoned by a cockatrice.

16.   A nymph will be very pleased if you call her by her real name:  Lorelei.
20.   A staff may recharge if you drop it for awhile.

There are no staffs in NetHack that use charges. Even if they mean "wand," this is still a big fat lie.

30.   Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.

Actually, it will appear on top of the item pile in that square, regardless of how large the other items are.

31.   Archeologists find more bones piles.

They have just as much of a chance of finding bones piles as any other class.

34.   Banana peels work especially well against Keystone Kops.
35.   Be careful when eating bananas.  Monsters might slip on the peels.

Maybe, but there are no banana peels in the game. It would be nice if it were implemented, but it may be a small matter of programming.

43.   Consumption of home-made food is strictly forbidden in this dungeon.
44.   Dark room?  Your chance to develop your photographs!

Maybe if photography were implemented...

49.   Demons *HATE* Priests and Priestesses.
59.   Drinking potions of booze may land you in jail if you are under 21.
64.   Engrave your wishes with a wand of wishing.
73.   Floating eyes can't stand Hawaiian shirts.
84.   If you ask really nicely, the Wizard will give you the Amulet.
90.   If your ghost kills a player, it increases your score.
94.   Just below any trap door there may be another one.  Just keep falling!

Although you can fall multiple levels through a hole.

98.   Killer bees keep appearing till you kill their queen.

They "keep coming" until they're extinct. The number of queen bees killed has nothing to do with it.

108.  Meeting your own ghost decreases your luck considerably!
119.  Never eat with glowing hands!
122.  Never step on a cursed engraving.
134.  One has to leave shops before closing time.
137.  Only a wizard can use a magic whistle.
153.  Shopkeepers sometimes die from old age.
138.  Only adventurers of evil alignment think of killing their dog.
164.  The longer the wand the better.

After all, a long wand could be a wand of nothing, and a short wand could be a wand of wishing.

187.  They say that a floating eye can defeat Medusa.
190.  They say that a fountain looks nothing like a regularly erupting geyser.

However, a sink might, if you drop the right kind of ring into it.

211.  They say that a runed broadsword named Stormbringer attracts vortices.
213.  They say that a shaman can bestow blessings but usually doesn't.
214.  They say that a shaman will bless you for an eye of newt and wing of bat.
312.  They say that there are no skeletons hence there are no skeleton keys.

Not true currently, but was true in earlier versions. In addition, skeletons aren't randomly generated even in newer versions, so this may hint at that.

331.  They say that you can only wish for things you've already had.
339.  They say that you need a mirror to notice a mimic in an antique shop.
348.  They say that you should never try to leave the dungeon with a bag of gems.
361.  Using a morning star in the evening has no effect.
363.  Want a hint?  Zap a wand of make invisible on your weapon!
368.  Wet towels make great weapons!

References

19.   A rope may form a trail in a maze.

Possible reference to the legend of Theseus and the Minotaur.

32.   Austin Powers says: My Mojo is back!  Yeah, baby!

Reference to the Austin Powers movies.

103.  Let your fingers do the walking on the yulkjhnb keys.

Reference to some telephone company, but I don't remember which one. Also a reference to the fact that these keys can be used to move.

118.  Never burn a tree, unless you like getting whacked with a +5 shovel.

Reference to Smokey the Bear. It should be noted that this rumor existed before trees were implemented in vanilla NetHack.

159.  Stormbringer doesn't steal souls.  People steal souls.

Reference to the saying, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people."

165.  The magic word is "XYZZY".

Reference to Zork.

166.  The meek shall inherit your bones files.

Reference to the Biblical saying that "the meek shall inherit the earth."

167.  The mines are dark and deep, and I have levels to go before I sleep.

Reference to the poem On Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening, by Robert Frost.

183.  They say that a cat named Morris has nine lives.

Reference to Morris, the cat from commercials for Nine Lives brand cat food.

194.  They say that a hacker named Alice once level teleported by using a mirror.

Reference to Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There.

195.  They say that a hacker named David once slew a giant with a sling and a rock.

Reference to the Biblical legend of David and Goliath.

196.  They say that a hacker named Dorothy once rode a fog cloud to Oz.

Reference to The Wizard of Oz.

201.  They say that a large dog named Lassie will lead you to the amulet.

Reference to Lassie.

221.  They say that a wood golem named Pinocchio would be easy to control.

Reference to Pinocchio.

226.  They say that an eye of newt and a wing of bat are double the trouble.

Reference to Macbeth.

225.  They say that an axe named Cleaver once belonged to a hacker named Beaver.

Reference to Leave It To Beaver.

275.  They say that naming your cat Garfield will make you more attractive.

Reference to Garfield. Also somewhat ironic, as Garfield's human Jon is arguably the most pathetic human being on earth.

303.  They say that the Three Rings are named Vilya, Nenya and Narya.

Reference to Lord of the Rings.

344.  They say that you should name your dog Spuds to have a cool pet.

Reference to Spuds MacKenzie, the former mascot for Bud Light beer.

347.  They say that you should never sleep near invisible ring wraiths.

Reference to Lord of the Rings?

364.  Want to ascend in a hurry?  Apply at Gizmonic Institute.

Reference to Mystery Science Theater 3000.

383.  You can't get by the snake.

Reference to the old game "Adventure." <http://jerz.setonhill.edu/if/crowther/advdat.77-03-11>

389.  You offend Shai-Hulud by sheathing your crysknife without having drawn blood.

Reference to Dune.

Just plain weird

24.   A winner never quits.  A quitter never wins.
40.   Changing your suit without dropping your sword?  You must be kidding!
41.   Close the door!  You're letting the heat out!
47.   Death is just life's way of telling you you've been fired.
50.   Didn't you forget to pay?
51.   Didn't your mother tell you not to eat food off the floor?
54.   Does your boss know what you're doing right now?
65.   Eventually you will come to admire the swift elegance of a retreating nymph.
66.   Ever heard hissing outside?  I *knew* you hadn't!
68.   Ever seen a leocrotta dancing the tengu?
69.   Ever seen your weapon glow plaid?
70.   Ever tamed a shopkeeper?
71.   Ever tried digging through a Vault Guard?
77.   Half Moon tonight.  (At least it's better than no Moon at all.)
80.   How long can you tread water?
81.   Hungry?  There is an abundance of food on the next level.
82.   I guess you've never hit a mail daemon with the Amulet of Yendor...
91.   Increase mindpower:  Tame your own ghost!
92.   It furthers one to see the great man.
96.   Keep a clear mind:  quaff clear potions.
97.   Kicking the terminal doesn't hurt the monsters.
100.  Latest news?  Put `rec.games.roguelike.nethack' in your .newsrc!
101.  Learn how to spell.  Play NetHack!
104.  Let's face it:  this time you're not going to win.
105.  Let's have a party, drink a lot of booze.
107.  Lunar eclipse tonight.  May as well quit now!
109.  Money to invest?  Take it to the local branch of the Magic Memory Vault!
129.  Not all rumors are as misleading as this one.
131.  Nymphs are blondes.  Are you a gentleman?
143.  Ouch.  I hate when that happens.
147.  Row (3x) that boat gently down the stream, Charon (4x), death is but a dream.

When will someone get around to implementing Charon, anyway? :P

149.  Screw up your courage!  You've screwed up everything else.
150.  Seepage?  Leaky pipes?  Rising damp?  Summon the plumber!
160.  Suddenly, the dungeon will collapse...
169.  There are no worms in the UNIX version.

Unless you're referring to long or purple worms.

170.  There is a trap on this level!
171.  They say that Demogorgon, Asmodeus, Orcus, Yeenoghu & Juiblex is no law firm.
172.  They say that Geryon has an evil twin, beware!

Wait a minute. If Geryon has an evil twin, and Geryon is evil, then wouldn't that make Geryon's evil twin...good? :)

362.  Waltz, dumb nymph, for quick jigs vex.

Somewhat notable, as this sentence contains every letter in the Roman alphabet.

Jokes

25.   A wish?  Okay, make me a fortune cookie!
78.   Help!  I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!
128.  No part of this fortune may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, ...
133.  Old hackers never die:  young ones do.
142.  Operation OVERKILL has started now.
144.  PLEASE ignore previous rumor.

I think 142 and 144 are meant to go together.

145.  Polymorph into an ettin; meet your opponents face to face to face.
151.  Segmentation fault (core dumped).
157.  Sorry, no fortune this time.  Better luck next cookie!
198.  They say that a helm of brilliance is not to be taken lightly.
374.  Why are you wasting time reading fortunes?
350.  This fortune cookie is copy protected.
351.  This fortune cookie is the property of Fortune Cookies, Inc.
352.  This release contains 10% recycled material.
359.  Ulch!  That meat was painted!
360.  Unfortunately, this message was left intentionally blank.
366.  Warning:  fortune reading can be hazardous to your health.
369.  What a pity, you cannot read it!
377.  Wow!  You could've had a potion of fruit juice!

Possible reference to V8's slogan?

378.  Yet Another Silly Message (YASM).
379.  You are destined to be misled by a fortune.
380.  You can get a genuine Amulet of Yendor by doing the following:  --More--
381.  You can make holy water by boiling the hell out of it.
382.  You can protect yourself from black dragons by doing the following:  --More--
384.  You choke on the fortune cookie.  --More--
385.  You feel like someone is pulling your leg.
387.  You hear the fortune cookie's hissing!
390.  You swallowed the fortune!
392.  You will encounter a tall, dark, and gruesome creature...

No idea

2.    1st Law of Hacking:  leaving is much more difficult than entering.
3.    2nd Law of Hacking:  first in, first out.
4.    3rd Law of Hacking:  the last blow counts most.
10.   A fading corridor enlightens your insight.
14.   A long worm can be defined recursively.  So how should you attack it?
15.   A monstrous mind is a toy forever.
29.   An elven cloak is always the height of fashion.
39.   Beyond the 23rd level lies a happy retirement in a room of your own.
52.   Direct a direct hit on your direct opponent, directing in the right direction.
53.   Do you want to make more money?  Sure, we all do!  Join the Fort Ludios guard!
55.   Don't bother wishing for things.  You'll probably find one on the next level.
58.   Don't tell a soul you found a secret door, otherwise it isn't a secret anymore.
60.   Drop your vanity and get rid of your jewels!  Pickpockets about!
74.   For any remedy there is a misery.
76.   Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
83.   If you are the shopkeeper, you can take things for free.
85.   If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
88.   If you want to feel great, you must eat something real big.
93.   It's easy to overlook a monster in a wood.
102.  Leprechauns hide their gold in a secret room.
106.  Liquor sellers do not drink; they hate to see you twice.
111.  Monsters sleep because you are boring, not because they ever get tired.
112.  Most monsters prefer minced meat.  That's why they are hitting you!
113.  Most of the bugs in NetHack are on the floor.
114.  Much ado Nothing Happens.
117.  Never ask a shopkeeper for a price list.
120.  Never mind the monsters hitting you:  they just replace the charwomen.
121.  Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
125.  Never trust a random generator in magic fields.
136.  One level further down somebody is getting killed, right now.
140.  Only real trappers escape traps.
141.  Only real wizards can write scrolls.
174.  They say that NetHack bugs are Seldon planned.
175.  They say that NetHack comes in 256 flavors.
176.  They say that NetHack is just a computer game.
177.  They say that NetHack is more than just a computer game.
178.  They say that NetHack is never what it used to be.
180.  They say that a black pudding is simply a brown pudding gone bad.
188.  They say that a fortune only has 1 line and you can't read between it.
192.  They say that a grid bug won't pay a shopkeeper for zapping you in a shop.
199.  They say that a hot dog and a hell hound are the same thing.
202.  They say that a long sword is not a light sword.
203.  They say that a manes won't mince words with you.
204.  They say that a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
207.  They say that a potion of oil is difficult to grasp.
210.  They say that a quivering blob tastes different than a gelatinous cube.
219.  They say that a succubus named Suzy will sometimes warn you of danger.
220.  They say that a wand of cancellation is not like a wand of polymorph.
222.  They say that after killing a dragon it's time for a change of scenery.
224.  They say that an attic is the best place to hide your toys.
227.  They say that an incubus named Izzy sometimes makes women feel sensitive.
229.  They say that an unlucky hacker once had a nose bleed at an altar and died.
230.  They say that and they say this but they never say never, never!
231.  They say that any quantum mechanic knows that speed kills.
232.  They say that applying a unicorn horn means you've missed the point.
234.  They say that building a dungeon is a team effort.
235.  They say that chaotic characters never get a kick out of altars.
236.  They say that collapsing a dungeon often creates a panic.
237.  They say that counting your eggs before they hatch shows that you care.
238.  They say that dipping a bag of tricks in a fountain won't make it an icebox.
242.  They say that eating royal jelly attracts grizzly owlbears.
243.  They say that eggs, pancakes and juice are just a mundane breakfast.
244.  They say that everyone knows why Medusa stands alone in the dark.
245.  They say that everyone wanted rec.games.hack to undergo a name change.
246.  They say that finding a winning strategy is a deliberate move on your part.
248.  They say that fortune cookies are food for thought.
249.  They say that gold is only wasted on a pet dragon.
250.  They say that good things come to those that wait.
251.  They say that greased objects will slip out of monsters' hands.
252.  They say that if you can't spell then you'll wish you had a spellbook.
253.  They say that if you live by the sword, you'll die by the sword.
254.  They say that if you play like a monster you'll have a better game.
256.  They say that if you step on a crack you could break your mother's back.
257.  They say that if you're invisible you can still be heard!
258.  They say that if you're lucky you can feel the runes on a scroll.
259.  They say that in the big picture gold is only small change.
260.  They say that in the dungeon it's not what you know that really matters.
263.  They say that in the dungeon you don't need a watch to tell time.
264.  They say that in the dungeon you need something old, new, burrowed and blue.
265.  They say that in the dungeon you should always count your blessings.
267.  They say that it takes four quarterstaffs to make one staff.
268.  They say that it's not over till the fat ladies sing.
269.  They say that it's not over till the fat lady shouts `Off with its head'.
270.  They say that kicking a heavy statue is really a dumb move.
271.  They say that kicking a valuable gem doesn't seem to make sense.
273.  They say that minotaurs get lost outside of the mazes.
276.  They say that no one knows everything about everything in the dungeon.
277.  They say that no one plays NetHack just for the fun of it.
278.  They say that no one really subscribes to rec.games.roguelike.nethack.
279.  They say that no one will admit to starting a rumor.
280.  They say that nurses sometimes carry scalpels and never use them.
281.  They say that once you've met one wizard you've met them all.
282.  They say that one troll is worth 10,000 newts.
284.  They say that only angels play their harps for their pets.
285.  They say that only big spenders carry gold.
286.  They say that orc shamans are healthy, wealthy and wise.
287.  They say that playing NetHack is like walking into a death trap.
289.  They say that quaffing many potions of levitation can give you a headache.
292.  They say that real hackers always are controlled.
293.  They say that real hackers never sleep.
295.  They say that shopkeepers never carry more than 20 gold pieces, at night.
296.  They say that shopkeepers never sell blessed potions of invisibility.
297.  They say that soldiers wear kid gloves and silly helmets.
298.  They say that some Kops are on the take.
300.  They say that some monsters may kiss your boots to stop your drum playing.
301.  They say that sometimes you can be the hit of the party when playing a horn.
304.  They say that the Wizard of Yendor has a death wish.
305.  They say that the `hair of the dog' is sometimes an effective remedy.
306.  They say that the best time to save your game is now before it's too late.
307.  They say that the biggest obstacle in NetHack is your mind.
308.  They say that the gods are angry when they hit you with objects.
309.  They say that the priesthood are specially favored by the gods.
313.  They say that there is a clever rogue in every hacker just dying to escape.
314.  They say that there is no such thing as free advice.
315.  They say that there is only one way to win at NetHack.
316.  They say that there once was a fearsome chaotic samurai named Luk No.

I have no idea what this means, but I remember naming at least one samurai PC "Luk No" due to this rumor.

317.  They say that there was a time when cursed holy water wasn't water.
318.  They say that there's no point in crying over a gray ooze.
320.  They say that trap doors should always be marked `Caution:  Trap Door'.
321.  They say that using an amulet of change isn't a difficult operation.
322.  They say that water walking boots are better if you are fast like Hermes.
325.  They say that when your god is angry you should try another one.
326.  They say that wielding a unicorn horn takes strength.
327.  They say that with speed boots you never worry about hit and run accidents.
330.  They say that you can only kill a lich once and then you'd better be careful.
332.  They say that you can train a cat by talking gently to it.
333.  They say that you can train a dog by talking firmly to it.
334.  They say that you can trust your gold with the king.
335.  They say that you can't wipe your greasy bare hands on a blank scroll.
336.  They say that you cannot trust scrolls of rumor.
337.  They say that you could fall head over heels for an energy vortex.
340.  They say that you really can use a pick-axe unless you really can't.
341.  They say that you should always store your tools in the cellar.
342.  They say that you should be careful while climbing the ladder to success.
343.  They say that you should call your armor `rustproof'.
358.  Try calling your katana Moulinette.

True story: I actually recall doing both of these when I was still in single-digits and thought that all of the rumors in the rumors file were true. :P

345.  They say that you should name your weapon after your first monster kill.

Maybe not in NetHack, but this can be a good idea in ADOM, depending on your play style.

346.  They say that you should never introduce a rope golem to a succubus.
349.  They say that you should remove your armor before sitting on a throne.
353.  Time stands still as the succubus changes her calendar to January 1, 2000.
354.  Tired?  Try a scroll of charging on yourself.
355.  To achieve the next higher rating, you need 3 more points.
356.  To reach heaven, escape the dungeon while wearing a ring of levitation.

It is possible to reach heaven, but by a completely different method.

357.  Tourists wear shirts loud enough to wake the dead.
365.  Wanted: shopkeepers.  Send a scroll of mail to Mage of Yendor/Level 35/Dungeon.
367.  We have new ways of detecting treachery...
371.  When a piercer drops in on you, you will be tempted to hit the ceiling!
373.  When you have a key, you don't have to wait for the guard.
375.  Wish for a master key and open the Magic Memory Vault!
376.  Wizard expects every monster to do its duty.
388.  You may get rich selling letters, but beware of being blackmailed!
391.  You want to regain strength?  Two levels ahead is a guesthouse!

Pantheons

Pantheons for defunct racial classes (Doppelgangers worship the Caveman pantheon):

	Lawful	Neutral	Chaotic
Dwarf	Moradin	Dumathoin	Abbathor
Elf/Drow	Solonor Thelandira	Aerdrie Faenya	Erevan Ilesere (vanilla)/Lolth (SLASH'EM)
Gnome	Garl Glittergold	Flandal Steelskin	Urdlen
Hobbit	Iluvatar	Gilthoniel	Morgoth
Lycanthrope	Eluvian	Moon	Lycanthus

I've also made up a few NetHack-style pantheons based on anime, JRPGs, and other stuff, but don't really have any classes for them. If you want to use one of these for a modification, feel free to do so.

"Chiyo-chichi", "Neco Coneco", "Kamineko", /* Azumanga Daioh cats */
"Seraphimon", "_Ophanimon", "Cherubimon", /* Digimon Frontier */
"Zeon Zum Deikun", "Degwin Sodo Zabi", "Gihren Zabi", /* Mobile Suit Gundam */
"Falis", "_Marfa", "Falaris", /* Record of Lodoss War */
"Dios", "_the Rose Bride", "End of the World", /* Revolutionary Girl Utena */
"Ceipheid", "_the Lord of Nightmares", "Shabranigdo", /* Slayers */
"_Tsunami", "_Washu", "_Tokimi", /* Tenchi Muyo! */
"Osiris", "Obelisk", "Ra", /* Yu-Gi-Oh! */
"Nirude", "Wilda", "Melzas", /* Alundra */
"Ladon", "Namanda", "_Myria", /* Breath of Fire */
"_Goddess", "Doom", "Poltergeist", /* Final Fantasy VI */
"Biron", "Tieg", "the Mist", /* Legend of Legaia */
"Corak", "the Dragon Pharaoh", "Sheltem", /* Might and Magic */
"Kormu", "_Sophie", "Gabnid", /* Paladin's Quest */
"_Laya", "Orakio", "Dark Force", /* Phantasy Star III */
"the Great Light", "Lutz", "_the Profound Darkness", /* Phantasy Star IV */
"_Mitula", "Volcanon", "Zeon", /* Shining Force II */
"_Stone", "Salt", "Storm", /* Sunless Sea */
"_Ishtar", "Filaha", "Asmodeus", /* Tactics Ogre */
"_Nayru", "_Farore", "_Din", /* The Legend of Zelda */
"Truth", "Love", "Courage", /* Ultima */
"Asgore Dreemurr", "the Absolute GOD of Hyperdeath", "Chara", /* Undertale */
"Zephyr", "_Raftina", "Justine", /* Wild Arms */
"the Wave Existence", "Emperor Cain", "Deus", /* Xenogears */
"Regunin", "Caxon", "_Jylla" /* Dragon Slippers */
"Aslan", "the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea", "Tash", /* Narnia */
"Mithros", "_the Great Mother Goddess", "the Black God", /* Tortall */
"Bahamut", "Io", "_Tiamat", /* D&D dragon gods */
"_Hana", "Maru", "_Miri", /* I am Maru. */
"_Princess Celestia", "_Princess Luna", "Discord", /* My Little Pony */
"Grizz", "Panda", "Ice Bear", /* We Bare Bears */
"Ceiling Cat", "Longcat", "Basement Cat", /* Lolcats */
"Superego", "Ego", "Id", /* psychology */

Which NetHack monster am I?

|......
|..i...
+..!..!

If I were a NetHack monster, I would be a tengu. I'm always in the right place at the right time, and am quick to avoid people that I'd rather not be with.

Which NetHack Monster Are You?

Old Mac color styles

If only for nostalgia, I thought I'd show these off here. My only real problem with them is that yellow and orange are the same.

Black

Red

Green

Brown

Blue

Magenta

Cyan

Gray

Orange

Orange, if you don't want it to be identical to yellow

Bright green

Yellow

Bright blue

Bright magenta

Bright cyan

White

Master Kaen's backstory from NetHack Plus

Since he was just turned into a Giant Space Flea From Nowhere in SLASH, here's the first quest briefing where he was mentioned.

"You are ready.  As I said before, a great dishonor has befallen
the order.  Not long ago, a zealous Monk such as yourself came to 
learn the way of <deity>.  He rose quickly in our ranks and
displayed great skill.  Silently we hoped for another such as
yourself to enter our ranks, and we gave thanks to <deity>."

"I do not know where we have gone wrong.  Perhaps it was a trick from 
the beginning.  Perhaps his faith faltered and he seized an opportunity
to better himself at the cost of others."

"In the darkest hour he crept in and stole the Mantle of Knowledge from its
resting place.  He tried to sneak away, but was caught.  In his desperate 
flight he killed many abbots."

"<deity> has not yet enlightened us for the reasons this has come to 
pass, but he has granted the knowledge that Master Kaen has fled to 
the Earth Temple.  Go there my <son|daughter>. Master Kaen must not be allowed to gain 
strength and cause more harm with the Mantle of Knowledge."

"Do not waste your time trying to save his soul.  It is a sad day 
for the <brother|sister>hood, but we will survive with your help."

"May <deity> ever guide your steps."

And, as a bonus, here's his original death text.

Master Kaen falls over motionless after your stunning blow. 
He whispers, "I knew everything and it is gone. I know now how I will
spend the countless years, and I am afraid. <playername>,  do 
not give yourself to the same fate, it is not nice."

You feel that in a small way Master Kaen has redeemed himself to
<deity> with his last breath.

Pejorative names for post-3.2.x NetHack

If you have any others, let me know!

• Super-Lotsa-Removed-Stuff-SLASH'EM
• SLASH'EM Junior
• NetHack Extended Magic